Feeling Meh...

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Growing up, adulthood did seem blissful. I am not alone in this ship, reading this I'm sure you can relate that sometimes it feels like your walking on quick sand, that every effort you use to pull one leg out sinks the other deeper and despite making a step forward, you have to repeat the whole damn thing again and again. Society dictates that we should appreciate every single step but if allowed to comment, I'd say this is a vicious cycle. 

I am seated on a recliner chair, wallowing on the cross that I carry. Heavy for the spine, causing stinging blisters on my neck. To my right is a remote, a reminder that I need to be more in control. To my left is my phone, a ping and I'm reminded of all my tribulations. 

Expect disappointment, so you won't be disappointed; a phrase from the latest Spider Man. I have been living with this principle most of my adult life. Saves you from stress, anxiety and high blood pressure. 

At this point I'm sure you're puzzled with this trajectory in relation to the title. I am too. Well, I guess this will suffice as a transition for the angle I was aiming for.

How many voices do talk to you in your head; one, two or three? Right now, I am listening to one accusing me of being a fraud and another timid one convincing me otherwise. I feel there is a third voice, whose word is law. Today the triad are helping me decide whether or not to break a promise I made to myself, not to eat meat for a year - not because I am an aspiring vegan but to test my mental fortitude. 

About five months later after writing the paragraph above I can confidently say that the mission bungled and I am a proud carnivore, I consume meat and also, I offer it [wink, wink].

Honestly this isn't going anywhere so I'll save your precious time. But know this; I am back to writing and will soon drop a juicy story. That, I can promise. 

Comments

  1. Anonymous5 June 2022 at 08:56

    Yaay! Happy to have you back.

    ReplyDelete
  2. rayvienne5 June 2022 at 13:19

    Never let them know your next move😂. You got me so lost in the 3rd paragraph.

    ReplyDelete

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