Itinerary

By Patrick Muhando

I'd love to pack my bags and go be a globetrotter like one of those YouTube vloggers whose JD is to travel, eat fruit, explore different cuisines, take instagrammable photos, sleep on warm cozy king size beds, with linen sheets smelling of lavender and fabric softener and thirty pillows ( they always go overboard with the pillows) which is akin to sleeping on a cloud full of cotton candy, they get awesomely paid and emails don't normally find them well on Monday mornings.

I'd probably start off by visiting the colosseum, in Italy and take beautiful pictures of the old relic while the sun sets this being synonymous to the end of the roman civilization and the beginning of my tourist adventure/wanderlust. I’d probably be wondering how such majestic structure still stands tall for over 3000 years later having weathered unimaginable storms, stormy weather through the passage of time.

I'd jump on a Vespa (you thought right, nduthis are universal, even in Italy) to the leaning tower of Pisa and marvel at the complex architecture and how it defies rules of gravity and have a slice of pizza or cheesy pasta while at it..

I'd hop onto the next flight to Monte Carlo, in Monaco, join in on the F1 paddock or on a Yatch just in time for F1 street circuit, cheering on Lewis Hamilton to bag another world title and call it life on the fast lane😂.

I would take myself to Santorini or Mykonos, Greece, where life slows down, soft as a whisper. You get hit by white walls and a vastness of deep blue seas until you cannot see the horizons. Time slows down and you have a random encounter with a stranger, share light banter and chuckles and it feels like you are conversing with Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates and he's given you a pass to go to heaven where you'll meet the 72 virgins and eat milk and honey. The walls in Santorini are so white you wonder if they have their own version of Betty, your housie back in Nairobi who cleans everything thoroughly and leaves everything spotless, spic and span (Betty is the one to leave things better and neater than she's found them, she's so meticulous and cleanses everything, even your sins. If she were there during Jesus's time, He wouldn't have died for our sins). I'd want seaside breakfasts staring at the sunrise, eating grapes, cocktails, tantalizing  sea food and skies that bleed in the evenings. I'd want gentle sails with old friends and strangers who smile back.

 

I would go down to Athens for some deliberate site seeing, to be precise to view the Parthenon located in a citadel called 'The Acropolis of Athens' a temple dedicated to goddess Athena - goddess of wisdom, handicraft and warfare and tour the acropolis museum to have a feel of the oldest civilization that is the Greek Mythology. I'd wonder if some of my lineage traces back to these mighty beings that filled the earth since my clan totem is the sun so we might have descended from Helios and also all my cuteness might have come from Aphrodite😂

I'd travel to the city of love, Paris, France, without love this time, hoping I would finally find my soulmate somewhere in the Louvre starring at The Monalisa or the Aphrodite sculpture while I'm staring at her delicate beauty as she explains the whole body of works of some of the of world famous painters likes of Leonardo Davinci, Michalengelo, and Vincent Van Gogh, going about the intricate yet minute details of each painting and me only interested in the work of art that she is, wondering where she's been all this lifetime. 

I'd probably tell her, "bonjour madame you're the painting I'd like to mount on my wall 😂" (in my broken french) hoping I pronounced it just right because first impressions matter..wishful thinking haha.

I'd pass by a bakery and order a baguette and croissants, have a bite, soak in all the sweetness , and delicacy and breath in the sweet smell of freshly baked pastries and wonder how perfect life can be at this moment in time and in the grand scheme of things, then pay compliments to the old baker that somehow reminds me of my granny because she's given me so much bread that I can't see where I'm going by saying, "merci, madame, au revoir" (thank you ma'am goodbye).

I would then hit the streets of Paris as I close the door to the bakery leaving the tiny bell on top of door frame reverberating softly. Just as I step on the streets of Paris, the soft sun is kissing my skin, my melanin pops, I stand out among the white crowd and it feels special, a warm breeze is blowing and I inhale the foreign air, let's call it creme del air, to take in everything (Oh my! This sounds like an airline - welcome aboard Creme Del Air, Flight 4B7)

I'd have a quick stop at Champagne, the wine district have a taste of the famous sparkling wine wondering if it comes close to the greatness that is Muratina and carry a bottle or two as a souvenir.

I'd book a flight to Japan, to experience their rich culture, have a sip of sake over unending conversations with a beautiful Geisha as I stare, wondering if she's from space because she's outta this world.

I'd connect with my spirits by visiting their temple surrounded by pools full of koi fish and bonzai trees giving the whole place a feel of an otherworldly place. While there, I want connect with my being, meditate with the monks, do Yoga and find balance in this thing called life. I want to learn the Japanese language since it is energetic and I love the respect.

 

From Japan I want to board a flight to my next destination, Cancun, Mexico. While enroute, on my layover, I want to have a sweet Toblerone chocolate, because I have a sweet tooth, and go on a shopping spree at duty free shops they have at airports. I would explore the gorgeous turquoise seas, powdery white-sand beaches and vibrant coral reefs of Cancun. I hope to bump into Lebron because Cancun is known to host some of the most famous NBA players on holidays.

I would make a point to mack on a Senhorita cause I heard girls from this neck of the woods are hella hot just like the weather. I hope she will not break my heart like Monica, my first crush of 15 years ago who broke my heart because aliniomba sharper akapuliza and then we broke up😂. She would remind me of those gorgeous actresses in soap operas (my first real crushes) we used to watch when were were kids before we were rudely interrupted by our parents to go sleep for school next day. I'd desperately want to be Alejandro and win her heart over just like in the operas.

We would have margaritas with my new found love as we vibe to Dumebi or Bailando, with her wearing little to nothing and me a pair of shorts and original ray ban sunnies as we share light banter, chuckles and whispering sweet nothings.

We'd share a kiss over the setting sun, the orange hues will be covering the vast skies and some hint of purple just hanging above indicating the end of golden hour. We'd stare into each others eyes, get lost in them and giggle at the thought realising it.

 

We'd go back to the hotel room have bomb shower sex (Let it go on record that I said hotel shower sex is the best, come fight me) with Victoria Monet's Jaguar album playing in the background scented candles all over and cold Chardonnay to set the mood right. And when the night ends with a happy ending (who doesn't love happy endings) you are done looking. Life is quiet and the light from the sea tower stills your eye from the balcony window, you walk on the cul-de-sac and your age agrees with the golden skies. This are the sunset years you worked for. This, this is the definition of soft life.